Thursday, May 3, 2012

Strong Opinions About: Koalas

From time to time, Oh Em Gee. likes to give those with strong minority viewpoints a place to share them, because of democracy and the Constitution and Barack Obama's freshman-year love letters. This column will be called "Strong Opinions About," and today it kicks off with an article that might be the very first piece of writing that both bodysnarks and slutshames koalas.


Hey guys, can we talk for a second about KOALAS??????

Since literally the dawn of time people have been all "koalas are my favorite animal they are so cuuuuttee!!!!"

Even National Geographic has some really sweet things to say about koalas: "The koala, cuddly symbol of a nation and one of the most beloved animals on the planet..."

DEAD WRONG have you Nat Geo fuckers even looked closely at a goddamn koala?

oh my GOD LOOK OUT
ugh

god EW

Check their nasty British teeth:
ever heard of a toothbrush lol

I'm sorry but what the fuck like this is fucking scary like this picture actually makes me sick to my stomach

Not to mention:
The male Koala, like many marsupials, has a bifurcated penis. The female has two lateral vaginae, a feature unique to the Koala, and it has two separate uteri which is common to all marsupials.
Ummmmmmmmm NO have fun with your two weiners and VAGINAE you sick fucks!!! I wonder if koalas QP. They probably do, they totally would. UGHHHH

Some colonies have been hard hit by disease, especially chlamydia.
Way to go, sluts. With all those damn genitals I'm sure it's spreading like wildfire.

and look at this fat piece of shit

ugh you guys koalas are the worst.

3 comments:

Anonymous,  November 5, 2012 at 2:27 PM  

This is so horrible... you know absolutely nothing about Koalas... get you facts straight.. ignorance is never the answer!!!!

Anonymous,  February 11, 2013 at 1:53 PM  

GET YOUR FACTS MESSED UP MORE FREQUENTLY, MOLLIE. <3 Lisa, from my new outpost, a koala blind, for to shoot them.

Anonymous,  February 17, 2013 at 9:57 PM  

STUPID! KOALAS ARE ALL ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!

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